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Unattended Flowersjust a moment of dipping my toes
in the pool of introspection
as you trail false kisses
feather light upon my skin
and I let myself believe for a moment
that the fairytale I want is real.
if I close my eyes I can feel your lips
and not see the knife behind your back
I know it's there, always
but if I could pretend...
if I hold my breath I can stay under this spell
and not smell the alcohol that emanates from you
your life's blood that seeps from every pore
and affects your every word
I need to be whole if only for a few seconds
i need more than this
more than the empty beer bottles
and razor-sharp words you offer me
but i take what i get
and so I will let you do this to me
the flowers I sent you sit unattended on the table.
ShoesYou don't want to walk in my shoes.
The laces that tie me here
are made of fear
and I can't loosen them.
The sole is coming unglued from the bottom
from being walked on too much
and the rubber that is supposed to bounce back
is disintegrating from the tear-pools
I'm always walking in.
Even the tongue isn't holding together.
Every day another piece comes loose
in the form of a cry for help
and soon there will be nothing left.
I keep scrubbing the outside though.
No one ever sees the inside but me.
Last Day of Summerpearl-colored clouds
billow over our heads
in an expanse of clear baby-blue sky
and winds scented with summer
lift my hair from the back of my neck
your smile is knowing and slightly devilish
as you splash tiny kisses on my cheek
in a spray of soft affection
and your fingers tickle me gently
as your eyes dance with my laughter
we sit on a dock made of rough, aging wood
and we make stupid splinter jokes
giggling like children pulling a prank
and hugging impulsively
falling silent after a moment with an intimate contentment
you lean over to trail your fingertip
along the water's darkened glass
and I think with a smile of how you touched my life
in just the same way
stirring, awakening, moving.
I watch the sun catch your twinkling eyes
and see your dimples deepen slightly as you grin at me
are you ready to leave? you ask
oh, no. not yet.
let's stay a moment(day? week?) longer.
I want to see the sun fall
and sink with a crimson smile into the lake
sliding slowly into someone else's mornin
Self-Executioners SongIt is a frightening moment
when you realize you are completely empty.
when you finally see the face of insanity
and it looks too much like your own.
It is the loneliest sound in the world
to hear yourself cry, alone.
When your head aches from sobbing
for everything you never lost...because you never had.
It is the hardest thing to believe,
that you are worth more than you are told.
When you are molded by words
that disintegrate you like acid.
It is a terrifying second
when you look at death with a smile.
when you wonder "what if I went to sleep
and never woke up...?"
Believed ClicheI have sat within this space forever
waiting for the sound of the rain
nothing grows except the fear
wish you noticed me for who I am
and not for the person you wish I was
But then the words came
and they took me by surprise
and their precious silken edges caught
on the tones of the voice I know so well...
"Your world is where I'd die to stay
I've wanted nothing else this way
and everything that's in your eyes
is everything I need, for all time
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
to show you that I'm sorry too
for all the times I've hurt your heart
torn it to a thousand parts
so just believe me here and now
I'll make it up to you somehow
I wish that I had told you this before,
but every day I plan to love you more."
At the End of This Nightrip open the scab that never quite healed
pull away all of the skin that you've peeled
smile with glee at the wound that you've made
before the last scar even started to fade
you get me to beg for a love you don't want
my heart never full, only hollowed and gaunt
walking the line, so close to the end
I'm ready to break but you barely bend
hearing the voices that call me to leave
pushing them down as I struggle to breathe
the air I take in is corrupted with you
the poison you speak, the things that you do
you think you're a man and can do what you please
while I pray for respect down here on my knees
just a few little words that tell me you care
your eyes pass right over - I'm not even there
and so i will watch now, again as you sleep
and pray the Lord takes this soul that you keep
perhaps if i wish with all of my might
i'll have left you behind at the end of this night.
Unfinished Indefinitelythere you sit with your snowflake promises
as fragile as the air they are spoken in
your words dance within the falling snow
twirling the wind around your voice
(maybe it could be
that walking across the cliff to you
on a log of faith
doesn't have to mean falling.
And maybe looking down
could mean where I've come from
and not where I could land
if [when] I fall...
9-11 Contest - Not So Innocentwe were innocent.
fat with the freedom
that our fathers and grandfathers bought
with their lives and their pride
while our children never had to know
the price of their taken-for-granted liberties
we forgot what a gold star in a window means.
arrogant in our complacency
and choking on our own future
and suddenly it was all changed
buried under tons of rubble
that used to stand for the American Dream.
Now we are all reminded again
of what our race is capable of.
And suddenly we are not so innocent anymore.
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