This Drinkmy fingertip slides along the rim of my glass
tracing the circle of a forever
I wanted to have with you
the ice cube inside melts as i watch
releasing itself like I did
becoming less, disintegrating as i
stir my finger inside the drink
feel the cold liquid of defeat as it swirls
and i taste the bitterness of failure
clinging to my fingertip like a nightmare
that was far too real
drink it down and feel the burn
get up and walk away
before I order another.
I was drinking from a broken glass anyway.
And So I WalkI smashed my compass
under a prideful foot
pushed away your voice in my heart
and reveled in the freedom
i thought I finally had
I ignored what I knew
because I thought I knew better
but soon my running turned to stumbling
and the moon slipped behind a cloud.
the woods were never so dark
as the moment i realized
i was truly alone
and i was lost.
I ran farther, harder
but it only took me deeper
into the blackness of my own mind
and i fell in the dark
so many times
until finally i lay there
broken and bleeding
and i knew.
I whispered your name
through parched lips
and found the strength to get up
gather myself and walk
toward the dawn
as its first faint gray smile
stole across the darkened sky.
I heard you then
the slightest wisp of hope
echoing in the pain
I know where I need to be
and I know now how to get there
I need to find you again.
And so I walk.
OutI'm out of words
to tell you.
I've said them over and over
in so many different ways
but somehow it never matters.
It's still the same old tired phrases
and it's nothing you'll even listen to anymore.
I'm out of time
grains of sand falling
into their hourglass abyss
mingling with the grains of salt
that my tears make as they dry
while you walk away without so much as a glance.
I'm out of curses
I think I've said them all
in the rage that comes to possess me
when I realize nothing I do
will ever change this life
and comfort will never come from you.
I'm out of apologies
sorry is as familiar as my own name
and it mixes with confusion
because I don't know how many times
I've said the words without knowing why
and choked back knowing I wasn't wrong to make peace.
I'm out of heart
and no one is even taking anymore
so I sit in my corner
with the pieces i have left
and I superglue them together
with the paste of determination.
Quatrain Euphoria 3working more hours than you should in a day
setting your sights on above average pay
you're crazy to do this, insane, so they say
but you'll just keep on til decaying you lay.
The Jagged Edge of Overholding someone's heart in your hand
it's a big responsibility, isn't it?
Did you finally realize you weren't mature enough?
you couldn't hold your own and theirs
all at the same time
but you couldn't bear to let her hold yours
That's alright, you think,
I'll just say I'm a prisoner.
I'll hide behind the complexities
and claim that it's hurting me
put it on pause
she'll wait, i'm sure
and even if she doesn't,
that's okay too, right?
You don't really care about it
but it sounds good.
And besides, it's an easy way out
of a situation you know you told her you wanted.
doesn't matter that you just cut her
dragged her across the jagged edge of over
you even had the gall to pretend
that doing this was best for everyone
like you're doing the world a big favor
and you're such a fool.
if she has any sense at all
she'll walk away from you and never look back.
But then again...she's not very bright either, is she?
She let you in to begin with.
This GameI have played this game all my life.
Step up to the plate
want to impress myself
want to believe I can do it
i let them pitch to me
but I strike out.
I always trudge back to the dugout
as the pitcher laughs at me
even after he talked me into trying to hit that ball
I sit alone and cry
watching as everyone else makes it
their smiles seem like a cruel punishment to me
curl into a ball myself
waiting to stay out of the batting order
I want to sit it out
give myself time to learn
I think I'm frightened of the ball.
I swing too soon.
But then there is always another
whispering to me through the fence
making me believe it would be different this time
if I let him be the one to throw to me
planting the seeds of hope in my heart
and secretly laughing at the joyous smile his promise brings
but I believe.
(dear God, I always believe.)
i am ready to try again
and as I take my place,
there is a sudden smile
from the pitcher, the one
who whispered to me his sweetness
and caressed my fears with his
Quatrain Contest - Euphoria 2the tiny voices in my head
sang their songs as I laid in my bed
it's not worth staying, so go, they said
it's not really so bad to be cold and dead.