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Is there anything you don't want from me?
seems like everything I have you take for yourself
twist it til it's yours and always was
my life...my scars...my energy
i don't know how far i can go
when everything's gone down
to a place where giving is taking
and taking is all
i seem to be accused of doing
but it's suddenly all i'm capable of
too much giving's been going on
and the night is not my friend anymore
with its silent moon and darkened stares
and no way to stop it but wait
for a dawn that only brings grey
not sure if the tears are sadness
or rain from a cloud-filled sky
catch the drops on my tongue
and run my tired fingers through soaked auburn locks
twirling them around my finger as i think,
as I wonder about the what if's and
the might have beens.
they hurt me, but
not as much as the right now's do
trying to see through the fog of wishes
to a rainbow long gone...
the storm outside
life is easy when you fake it.
plastic smiles and fluffy words
maybe even a few contrived tears
in all the right places
vulnerability is a scary thing, right?
hear the wind howling outside
and you realize it's a harsh world out there
batten down the doors and windows
while protesting to everyone
that you're not scared
posturing inside yourself
making yourself believe that
the storm outside is nothing
that it doesn't frighten you
but it does.
the thought of opening that door
letting others in to see your mess
giving the wind a chance to come in
like a Kansas twister
and tear apart the indoor walls
you've worked so hard to keep
is too much to bear.
and so you block the door with furniture
and sit down with a book
close the curtains
so you don't have to see those
out in the storm
Dorothy and Lawrence
as i looked up from a desk
full of overdue work
she slowly hobbled into my office
and i heard her frailty as her old bones creaked.
she settled into the chair
and fixed me with a gaze
that was half pride and half desperation
her soft, yet strong voice asking me for money
shaky, blue-veined hands playing nervously
with the strap of her little-old-lady purse
not enough money to go around, she said.
Lawrence was in a home now, and I needed
to hurry up and give her an answer
because she had to go over there.
She didn't like the way they fed him.
she had given her life savings
so her husband would have care
she had quit her job and gone without
so she could spend her days
with a man who had forgotten who she was.
She had come to me asking for money
so she could give hours of her time
showing pictures of their life to him
looking into his eyes
praying for just a trace of the light
that drew her to him sixty-three years ago.
I knew I could not help her,
the bureaucrats had too many rules.
they caress your face and whisper
those three words you've heard before
their eyes alight with hope
hanging on your response
but you've drowned in deeper oceans than this
lost yourself in the tide of passion
love bordering on possession
wanting to the point of insanity
diving deeper still
reaching for the colors
that wave to you in the current
hypnotizing you with their sway
intriguing you with their morphing hues
but then the water turned cold
you went too deep too fast
the air was sucked from your lungs
salt burned your eyes
and you flailed helplessly in the murky depths
fighting just to breathe
until exhaustion claimed you
and you finally sank to the bottom
impaling your heart on the brilliantly colored coral
you had so badly wanted to touch...
they are waiting for an answer
the unspoken question hangs within
their already spoken words
you open your mouth to speak
to tell them yes!
but the taste of ocean salt is in your mouth
and your heart's gentle ache reminds you
so you clos
Today Tonight and Tomorrowtoday i heard you
talking with no words
touching my heart with
the tears sliding down your cheeks
tendrils of golden hair
twisted in spiral curls
today you promised nothing yet
told me everything I needed
tried to hold on to you but
today it was your time to go
truly love is forever
time knows nothing of limits
'twill take away your breath and
tentatively push you into the next life
today i will lose your touch
today i said goodbye
tonight i will cry for a little while
tomorrow i will begin to look
toward my own forever, when
together again we can be.
R Untitledrising within the dawn
right between the sun and the ocean
roaring tides splash up on jagged
rocks where the gulls
rally with their cries and
race to take flight over the waves
rid of the night they are now
ready to face another blue-skied day.
PretendPursuing you with my smiles
playing with the edge of my glass
pretending to be something that
perhaps I am and
perhaps i'm not
pretends to attain
plethora of lies
perfection is sought but
probably never found.
NowNow is my time.
no looking back within this cloudy past
nothing for me there even though it's
never to be forgotten
next time has become this time
nearly yesterday already
new horizons loom in front of me
no net under me but that's just fine
never liked one there anyway
nothing to stop me if i choose to fly and
no one to tell me I can't.
Part of Usenchantment ripples
like pools in your eyes
and the light of your adoring smile
consoles and soothes the discord
so native to my heart
you seem so charmed
by everything I say
and your delighted laughter
is like a balm to wounds
long since scarred over
tentative touching with the utmost of care
as if you think you'd break me
but nothing as soft as your fingertips
could do me harm
your beauty is something
that takes me away
to places of dreams and warmth
and the scent of your hair
reminds me of jasmine's seductive ways
to think i am loved by you
is more than this heart can fathom
and more than i thought i'd find
and to see you there
bathed in the naked softness
of the moon's pale glow
with eyes heavily lidded from a sleep
borne of gentle lovemaking
makes me more than what I thought possible.
it makes me part of us.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More