Waiting to Give You Kissesi am sitting here quietly
eyes shining with sadness
tears staining my cheeks
waiting to give you tiny, innocent kisses
clutching them in my hand so tight
like a child's treasure
waiting for you to come back
i will give them to you
wrapped in my forgiveness
and some simple words
i hope you hold in your heart.
I am here,
and I am sorry too.
No One is Lookingtiny hard beads of truth
sit inside my heart
wrapped in the cold rage
that has built there over time
layers of pain have petrified
into the solid rock of bitterness
becoming a heavy, suffocating weight
makes me feel as though I'm drowning
in something bigger than myself
it's all over my head now
filling my nostrils with the water of
my own shortcomings
and the stench of rotting "what-ifs"
I am losing what little I had inside
and coughing up all hope
I am lost inside this cave
eyes made blind in the darkness while I
stumble into the obstacles
I thought I had avoided
and fall on the spikes of despair
I have so often tried to step around
I am lost
and no one is looking for me.
Whisper To Mewhisper to me, my love
as we lay here in the garden
tell me of dreams you've had
and wishes to come
as we watch the stars
wink at us with tiny little smiles
and poke holes of light
in the blanket of midnight that covers us
The willow trees are singing so quietly
their sound harmonizing
with your gentle breathing
and your kisses are making me forget
the raindrops that are falling on us
looking like jewels in your hair
kiss me deeper, darling,
let our bodies entwine...
i will never leave here.
the midnight blue that wraps us
in its warm and rain-smelling breeze
will cover us after our lovemaking
and my hair will wipe your happy tears
as you hold me to your chest and whisper
of dreams you've found
and wishes come true
in this tender, glowing joy
whisper to me, my love.
Thank You For -thank you for seeing me.
past the myriad of tangled lies
that i've told to hide my tender soul
through the forest
that I myself couldn't see through
and over the walls
I built to save myself from falling
too afraid to even look out the windows
thank you for giving to me.
something precious, sacred
more than I thought I could hold
without it breaking in pieces
just like my heart has done so many times.
I took to keep others from taking
sometimes I took without asking
and sometimes I never gave back.
thank you for touching me.
peeling back the layers of scars
and healing me from the inside out
instead of putting on more bandages
made of false hope and dressed up lies
giving me kisses made of truth's sweetness
caressing me with a touch lighter than
the clouds floating around my head.
thank you for showing me.
letting me believe in someone else
more than I believe in pain
opening up the windows and smiling
as the sunlight warmed my face
welcoming me back
lighting my eyes with the brillianc
Little Love Thoughtswake again
of more work than I care to handle
and more time spent missing the one I love
nothing means more
than the smiles you give me
stretched out over another sunrise
and wrapped in tiny yet powerful words
I allow myself little peeks at your picture
throughout the day
not too much...
just enough to make me content.
Silly, isn't it?
This love that seems to live all by itself.
a silken thread
that somehow holds us both
and doesn't break.
I like this.
no, I love this.
and I love you.
Chapter 5 Euphoria
As Alexia looked out over the still lake, the stallion started to fidget, sensing someone near. Puzzled, she turned around and almost fell off her horse in surprise to see the knight there.
"Dear god......you scared me....whatever your name is." She sputtered the words. She knew very well what his name was, but purposely feigned disdain to cover her growing awareness of him. Her eyes had a life of their own, it seemed. They kept roaming around his face and lingering on his neck, where his hair curled gently against tanned skin. She forced herself to look him in the eye.
He started to smile at her but caught himself, choosing to remain expressionless.
"Well, m'lady. I AM your escort, after all. Better that I scare you than a horde of bloodthirtsy renegades!"
They both laughed at this and then fell into an uncomfortable silence, filled with a tension Alexia couldn't put her finger on. Finally, when she couldn't stand it any longer, she blurted, "So, do you always sneak up on wome
Chapter 3 EuphoriaAlexia watched the knight's exit with annoyance, and yet there was a hint of curiousity. She was angry at the queen, that much didn't even need to be said. Why take a knight from the northern regiments if there's such discord there, she wondered. Even so, she couldn't help but think of the way his eyes had twinkled as he greeted her. Giggling to herself, she shook her head at her silliness and looked to the queen, who was involved in a deep conversation (one-sided, nonetheless) with one of the noblemen about the northern rebellion. Alexia sat and fidgeted for what seemed to be hours before there was a lull in their conversation.
"May I be excused?" she asked, impatient to get away from this stuffy hall and out into the sunlight.
The queen frowned at her before answering. "You may be excused. You know the dinner honoring the king is at sundown. I best not see you coming in late. And for God's sake, have Gwennie fix the rat nest on your head before dinner."
Alexia curtsied and qu
Chapter 1 EuphoriaAlexia sighed and closed her eyes, trying not to notice the pain as her lady-in-waiting tugged on her long auburn locks. She liked to wear her hair down, flowing over her shoulders almost down to the middle of her back; and she was still angry at the queen for having told her she needed to put it up. "Princesses do not wear their hair down at their own wedding, with hair flying this way and that like they've been gallivanting about the countryside on a horse all day," she had archly declared when Alexia had shown up to the wedding rehearsal earlier. Queen Vashta had instantly waved her hand from her place in the portable throne they followed her from room to room with and demanded that Alexia be taken to the dressing rooms and "made human again".
"For the love of the gods, Gwennie, I won't have any hair LEFT if you don't stop pulling so," Alexia muttered irritably as her head was jerked yet again by her overzealous maid.
"My apologies, my lady...you know the queen will have both our
I Slept With ConfusionI laid in bed last night
and listened to all the reasons
that I'm not needed in his life
tiny drops of broken heart tears
soaking into the pillow
as I keep my back turned
so he doesn't know I'm crying
can't let him see that I am devastated
I keep him around for convenience,
he keeps me around for my son
and i shut my eyes so tight
that I almost believe I can keep these words
from being true
even though i have stood in the hallway of need
and never heard his footsteps
i have slept in the cave of despair
and almost died from the cold
when he knew he could have warmed me
I am willing to forget all this
at least, I am willing to try
but everything I know about love
tells me it's not here
not in this bed
where harsh words are as common
as midnight dreams
not when I have to curl into a ball
and cover my head
to protect my too-tender heart
from the poison-arrow words
He knows I'm crying.
He's seen this a hundred times before
watched as the fragile stitches that hold
the pieces of my